SpiderLady-Hera

Feeling so stress these few days, coz it's exam week. I did study hard for the whole sem. I even sacrifice my habby...drawing... just to study to become an engineer. but it seems that i don't have that kind of 'genetic' inside me.
although in the first sem, i manage to get a 3 point, but it sound so useless for me since the place i study here is a 'not so well known' colledge.
oh well. surfing DA... looking at those other people's nice nice art works... found that i've loose my talent... drawing... am i still able to draw like last time? i don't know. but when i took my pencil.... all sorts of 1 and 0 s came to my brain.... 110101010111010101001
11010101010101101010100
010101110100101010
seems that... now i know only 1 and 0 ... i'm no more imaginative... no magics, no adventures, no mechas, no monsters, no bishounen..... at least i still remember the word 'bishounens'....
i became not like myself anymore.... last time, i didn't study hard but pretty lucky, got pass the exam... now, i study hard but so damn unlucky... not getting the result i want.
friends here are all... so ... CRUEL! they only stick with u when u hae MONEY! n car... i miss my old fren very much... but they all are the same now... thier mind are all 1 and 0 s too... saparated so far away... our gaps become far far away.
oh well... che la ve... thats the life... i prefer working as a small clerk like last time.
miss DA journal corner very much.. it's my place to sound out my emotions last time... never think of who will read it... but i really feels happy after posting it...

Dear Otaku Friends,
Something has forced me to leave for a while… may be after 5 or 10 years, I'll be back… or may be never… hahaha… joking… sure back!
Why, cause I have something on my head to get rid of. And due to my parents… and my own strength. I choose to leave anime, doesn't mean that I surrender my dream of publishing a comic. Just that I don't have much time left but I still have dreams to fulfill, and anime just one of them.
Anyways, I won't show up during CF 2004. Cause I don't want everybody to see now… sure very ugly. TT_TT hahaha…
I'll leave CF forum again after I settle down my booth.
Anyways, who interested in taking over my booth. 2 booth space plus one extra chair added. If you're interested and haven't booked any booth yet, please PM me. I've paid for the rent, but you don't need to pay anything to me.
I'll close my DA account and my web site soon. And I'll leave the CF forum again after I settle the booth.
Thanks for all. I'll put all of you in my heart forever…

:!: NOVEMBER WORK LIST :!:
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  Doujinshi:   

  CG:   

  Commissioned:

  Others:

Today... I went to buy lotsa lotsa cloth..... I've planned not to cosplay this year... but... but... dun know why.... I saw a very beautiful cloth and then I bought it... i saw some very nice lace... then i bought it... duh...... I dun know why ler.... if have time... i might just make an victorian style outfit... or may be an ancient greek dress.... i dun know... but i definately not cosplaying... then i took out my sewing machine.... and i dun know why i take it out... TT_TT looks like i'm havinf cosplay fever now... TT_TT...  sad nah!!

I've think about it since primary school... about the future i wanna choose... between art and science.
Today, I made my conclusion, after a long journey. I thought that I've choose to become an mangaka, after I saw my 'beautiful' STPM result... but, the sudden change (getting into IPTA study the course of my choice) brings me back to the 'junction' again. Now, I have an option...
I'm very happy with it... at first... I've many choices... sewing, cooking, volley ball, robot making, drawing... I droped them one by one...

For all these years, I always put ACG as 'the 2nd most important' and science (engineering, robotic) as '3rd most important' coz in my life, i met most discouragement in my robot making hobby compare to drawing. 2 years ago, I once thinking of getting a permanent job, earn enough money and publish my own comic and become a mangaka. now, i've choose to study and bcome an engineer. I don't know why i choose a road that will be hard for me. I don't want to be the best, but at lease I fullfill my dream.

Now, I'm working to fullfill my manga dream. but my future definately won't be a mangaka. who knows... may be after 60, i'll continue to draw... but in that age, who else wanna read my comic... (MOST readers are teenagers...right???!!!)

From all the stories that I've created, I'll choose only one and spend all my money to publish it! (yes!!! I mean all my money!!!) then... I'll leave the ACG world forever! I mean... I won't draw comics anymore... accept I have time.

If you read the journal... and wanna reply a comment... please tell me which story that i've created is the best (to make into a real published comic)
If you've read my doujins, you should know what I mean

here is the option:

1. The 2 little boys. happends in a victorian background. a bit gothic style + science fiction story. The main character Uriel (girl)... my earliest story... created the time i was a yaoi + gothic fan...

2. The Greece story... fantasy + adventure... a bit nonsense. Shuwa as main char... people said a bit yuri...(aik...!!! >_<"")... but i don't think so... may be it's bcoz hera is femenist and ati looks like ati n kev looks like a guy...>_<" but have no yuri content! plez lar!

3. The sail story... I kept this in secret for some reason. Well, it's happends in tamadun melayu melaka... very malaysian story but chibi style drawing... (not so chibi). adventure story

4. The farm story. A watermelon which changed into a human. a bit nonsense (definately nonsense) a comedy story... not so stressful

5. legend of ce-ef... nonsense adventure... no need to describe much... with lot-sa lot-sa characters...

6. create a new one!!!

so... please tell me which one you prefer most...





and tell me which type you love most... (can choose more than one lar)

a. yaoi (why this thing put in first??!! ~_~""")
b. yuri (All due to the option above)
c. hentai (i'm not gonna draw it eventhough U choose it)
d. adventure
e. fantasy
f. science fiction
g. detective (or something that will make you think!)
h. game story
i. horror
j. political
k. religion
l. life story (like those soap operah)
m. proffesional (story about doctor, lawyer... etc)
n. fairy tale love story
o. nonsense
p. comedy

thanks for reading my long journal